OPVDJKGFAILJKFGDKGUFWDVKDJHOFDHLBFIV OH MY GOOOOODDDDD

OPVDJKGFAILJKFGDKGUFWDVKDJHOFDHLBFIV OH MY GOOOOODDDDD

8
c

"

I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.

Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.

Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.

Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.

Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?

Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.

I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.

"  - What People Really Look Like (via jumbleofnotes)

59885
c
VIA: grumpygeologist ORIGINALLY FROM: jumbleofnotes

theshoutingendoflife:

jaclcfrost:

standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”

Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.

174436
c
VIA: ethelreds ORIGINALLY FROM: jaclcfrost

anonymousfragger:

image

NSYNC 

5700
c
VIA: rainbowflavour ORIGINALLY FROM: anonymousfragger
rooster teeth    

explosive-fishing:

frigging 5 years old 34 year old men

12283
c
VIA: waterjewelemi ORIGINALLY FROM: explosive-fishing
ace attorney    just get married i swear to god    
someoneudontknow5:

heydiddlehiddleston:

i’m crying
(credit to giannina)



I’m sorry

someoneudontknow5:

heydiddlehiddleston:

i’m crying

(credit to giannina)

I’m sorry

13318
c
VIA: rainbowflavour ORIGINALLY FROM: heydiddlehiddleston
LMAO    rooster teeth    

nobody-but-mebody:

image

image

image

I DIDN’T MEAN IT 

104611
c
VIA: spaceparked ORIGINALLY FROM: nobody-but-mebody

atthefinishline:

Thought it was the end of good ol’ Bob Hale?
Wrong!!
Here he is (for one final definite time) talking about the history of Scotland, and about the Scottish Referendum. 

224
c
VIA: paulmcgann ORIGINALLY FROM: atthefinishline
okay so i'm a bit late but i've had no internet    Horrible Histories    
951
c
VIA: paulmcgann ORIGINALLY FROM: aintchess
the thick of it    

bethdooner:

Some more shots from Empire
Photography: Beth Dooner. Do not repost without my permission or remove credits.

14
c

homewreckingwhore:

bluhbluhhugedork:

and this is why we cosplay

those two dudes made each other’s days.

265090
c
VIA: groovy-guy ORIGINALLY FROM: hellorwar

ahwuu:

"He felt bad about not doing the X-Ray and Vav thing, he had to spear Gavin’s hole directly to make up for it."

still not over this omg

9797
c
VIA: cosmiclumi ORIGINALLY FROM: ahwuu
rooster teeth    
46861
c
VIA: fuckingchaffinch ORIGINALLY FROM: missyperegrym

bethdooner:

Last weekend I photographed the Autumn Equinox at Empire, here are some of the results.
Photograhy: Beth Dooner. Please do not repost without my permission or remove captions.

21
c
my photography    
thecatsaysmeow:

inkfang:

puellamagi-mcpoylemagica:

The GIF broke

this amuses me a little to much

if you look at it one way it’s batman with batman as a hat, if you look at it another way it’s batman wearing sweeping robes with his face on the front

thecatsaysmeow:

inkfang:

puellamagi-mcpoylemagica:

The GIF broke

this amuses me a little to much

if you look at it one way it’s batman with batman as a hat, if you look at it another way it’s batman wearing sweeping robes with his face on the front

50095
c
VIA: zer0tucker ORIGINALLY FROM: marimojinguuji
i don't lnow which way is funnier